Anxiety disorders are the most frequently happening mental health conditions in the United States. These disorders are normally defined by problem tolerating unpredictability. The existing public health crisis has actually introduced much unpredictability into the lives of Tennesseans. Increasing COVID-19 hospitalizations and deaths will only add to these heightened unfavorable feelings.
Kristy Benoit Allen, a psychology professor at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, studies the intergenerational transmission of stress and anxiety and how parenting habits impacts children’s anxiety. The goal of her research is to establish and fine-tune prevention and intervention methods, especially for the children of anxious moms and dads.
With Tennessee extending its stay-at-home order through completion of April, and schools systems are closed through the end of the academic year, lots of parents are trying to work from home or cope with the stress of joblessness, while also homeschooling and taking care of their kids.
Assisting anxious moms and dads cope with these tough circumstances, for the sake of their own mental health in addition to that of their children, is of utmost significance.
Allen went over the significance of parent-child relationships during this unpredictable time and highlighted key strategies that moms and dads feeling the stress of stress and anxiety can use to assist their kids cope.
Do not avoid the conversation
“Avoidance is the hallmark of anxiety,” Allen stated. “You might be terrified to speak with your kids about COVID-19 and are avoiding it as a result. This may unintentionally stress kids much more. Bring it up with your kids. Ask them what they know and what concerns they have.”
Address your kids truthfully but stay with just needed information. This might suggest giving them a brief summary of what is going on the planet, highlighting how we can do our part to help include the spread, and instilling a sense of hope. Keep it basic and provide details from trusted sources like the Knox County Health Department and the Centers for Disease Control. Stay away from using social media as your primary source.
“Model calmness in your voice and words,” Allen stated. Avoid appearing outwardly upset and be understanding of their concerns. Concentrate on what you can do to keep your household safe. Stay inside and keep washing your hands.
Control the important things you can, however give your kids area
Frequently in unsure scenarios, anxiety commands us to take control.
“You can not control what remains in the news, but you can manage how much of it you and your children are exposed to,” Allen said.
You also can not control how firmly others adhere to social distancing guidelines, she added, “however you can do your part to keep your family and others safe.” Highlight that kids can exercise their own control by cleaning their hands, keeping range from others, and getting a lot of rest.
When moms and dads remain in a heightened state of stress and anxiety, they have a propensity to be managing and invasive with their kids. This is not a great time to try to work out control. “Try not to be a helicopter parent,” Allen said. “Let your kids do tasks that are developmentally proper and safe. Provide them with assistance when required, however do not be afraid to let them experience failures or setbacks. Children are resilient. Allowing them to continue to grow in their independence will assist make sure that they come out of this pandemic feeling no less confident in their capabilities.”
Take stock of your feelings
Sometimes when anxiety and fear are upon us, we can end up being disconnected and dismissive of those we love one of the most.
“Try to monitor yourself in this regard,” Allen said. “Occasionally take stock of where you fall on a cold to warm scale of 1– 10 throughout the day.”
When slipping into uneasy territory, parents ought to try to provide some extra attention or love to their kids. On a hard day, give them some additional night snuggles or spend some one-on-one time with them. Ask forgiveness if you snap at them and make a note to do much better.
On the other side, do things as a household that will make you feel good. Write thank-you letters to health care workers, produce walkway chalk messages of hope at the park, cook something for your neighbors, donate to people who are specifically in need, hang out calling and getting in touch with older loved ones, etc.
. Cut yourself some slack
Parenting, homeschooling, and working from house full-time are extremely tough. Hang in there and do the best you can, even when you feel restless.
“Utilizing these recommended techniques regularly is tough under the finest of circumstances,” Allen said. “You’re not going to be best and nobody anticipates you to be. Try to design as much calmness and reassurance around your children as you can.”
However it’s perfectly OKAY if you need to find a place to dump your stress at the end of the day. Spend quality time with your loved one. Call a member of the family or friend to process what you’re going through. Schedule a teletherapy session with a therapist or therapist (see below for resources for both yourself and your children). Take part in self-care as much as you can to stay healthy for yourself and your kids.
