2:40 am. The red numbers glare at me through the darkness of the space, teasing me to try to return to sleep. As I toss and turn, trying to get comfortable, my mind clicks like the rooster just crowed. Before I understand it, my thoughts are off and running, attempting to figure out the carpool schedule for the week, or determining when I’ll have time to complete a job, or replaying a challenging conversation. Eventually I’m left feeling tired and irritated at the very same time. Doesn’t God provide sleep to his precious (Psalm 127:2)? Why has this end up being a regular trial for me?
Insomnia has actually been the thorn in my flesh for a handful of years. Someplace in the middle of awakening in the night to nurse babies or look after an ill child or tend to someone who had a headache, my sleep cycles were substantially altered. Being a mama has trained my ear to wake up at the slightest sound, and when I’m up, my mind switches on, and it’s hard to shut pull back.
Awake in the Night
Whether the cause is kids, night work shifts, or stress and anxiety, the fight with sleeplessness is a common trial. I have actually attempted natural treatments, workout, minimal screen time, reading, and even prescription medicine to attempt to fix the issue. Many of the time, absolutely nothing seems to have a long-lasting effect. A frequent prayer demand of mine is for much better sleep. Some nights, that prayer is addressed. I seem like a brand-new woman when I sleep continually for six or more hours. I have actually grown to be deeply grateful for a great night’s sleep. But most of the time, consistent sleep through the night has been a struggle– a battle that can leave me feeling tired and prevented.
At times, the words of Psalm 127:2 have actually stung: “It is in vain that you increase up early and go late to rest, consuming the bread of nervous work; for he provides to his precious sleep.” In my worst moments, I have actually questioned God’s love for me. Why would he make this pledge and then permit me numerous restless nights?
However what if God shows his love for us not just through the present of sleep, but through the gift of insomnia? May he use sleep deprived nights to draw us closer to himself? To depend on him each moment of the day?
When Nighttime Falls
If you have actually fought with setting your mind to rest and falling asleep at night, you’ve likely experienced some pre-bedtime anxiety. Another restless night could make it tough to take care of your kids, make it through the board meeting with your eyes open, or have the clarity of mind for an interview.
However as nighttime falls, God currently knows our requirements. Jesus reminds us not to be nervous about our life (Matthew 6:25– 34)– which consists of the next eight hours. If God takes care of the tiniest animals around us, how much more will he look after us? Fretting profits absolutely nothing, however robs us of peace, delight, and typically, more sleep.
Rather of drowning in the cares of tomorrow, we can practice meditation on the guarantees of God to take care of us. God already knows the number of hours of sleep we require in order to function the next day. He is our great and faithful Dad. We can trust him with our sleep, or absence thereof. We can rest to rest, delegating ourselves to the One who never ever slumbers nor sleeps (Psalm 121:4), and asking him to satisfy for us the words of David, “In peace I will both rest and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me stay in safety” (Psalm 4:8).
Midnight Fight
Possibly you’re like me. I normally have no problem dropping off to sleep. The events of the day and 4 kids leave me completely exhausted at bedtime. It’s those middle-of-the-night noises that awaken me awake and get my mind running like the engine of a vehicle. What can we carry out in such moments? We have actually prayed for a good night’s rest, but here we are again, awake.
Psalm 119:147– 148 gives us a picture of how we might combat our midnight battle:
I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I hope in your words.
My eyes are awake prior to the watches of the night,
that I may meditate on your promise.
It’s simple to wake up and begin attempting to resolve our biggest problems, or at least the dinner menu for the week. Why not instead sign up with the psalmist in crying for assistance? Rather than letting our minds bring us far from our much-needed sleep, perhaps we may pray that God would help us entrust our concerns to him. And whether sleep comes or not, we can meditate on his guarantees rather of dwelling on our problems.
Another psalmist composed, “I raise my eyes to the hills. From where does my aid come?” When we open our eyes in the middle of the night, we might ask the very same concern. From where does our help be available in the darkest hours of the night?” [Our] assistance comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1– 2).
Our hope isn’t in an ideal eight hours of sleep, however in a devoted God whom we can rely on to sustain us the next day. He promises to offer us strength in our weakness and offer us with his all-sufficient grace (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Bleary-Eyed Morning
My consistent prayer to sleep through the night has actually caused me to lean into the pledges of God like nothing else has. In the midst of my bleary eyes and lagging body, I’m pressed to rely on Christ for strength. My absence of good rest has actually made me depend on God in methods that I would not if I usually got seven hours of good sleep.
I discover myself depending on him for strength to get up and serve my family when I actually wish to stay in bed another hour. Depending on him for patience with my kids when I am feeling extra irritable. Based on him for self-control when I’m lured to consume a mountain of sugar and caffeine to keep going. Based on him for the time and focus required to complete a project or prepare for Bible study. In each of these moments, there’s an appeal to seeing our own inadequacies and understanding our requirement for the grace of God to support us.
Our happiness does not originate from the strength of a complete night of sleep, but from the strength that God offers us in himself: “Blessed are those whose strength remains in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion” (Psalm 84:5).
Our Past and Future Hope
Jesus can sympathize with our insomnia. The night prior to his crucifixion, he invested an agonizing night awake in the garden of Gethsemane, pleading with God for the cup to pass (Mark 14:32– 42). His own good friends and disciples failed him by going to sleep when he asked them to stay awake to pray. The difficult events of the forthcoming day kept Jesus awake throughout the night. He understands our angst, our weariness, our frustration. His sleepless night came on the cusp of him facing the most unbearable occasion of perpetuity– taking on the sin of the world.
And since of his terrific love and sacrifice, we have hope that a person day our insomnia will be exchanged for perfect rest in eternity. As our earthly bodies combat fatigue, we remember in paradise we’ll no longer be tired. God will provide us new bodies that will be perfectly rested in him.
In the meantime, God has a function in our sleeplessness. He can use our weakness to make us dependent on him, revealing us his love and care with each passing minute of the day. He can utilize our weariness to press us to lean on him as the all-sufficient, all-wise, and all-powerful God, and to understand that when we are weak with insomnia, then we are strong in him.
